That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize