Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
