hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Randomize
