I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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