ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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