somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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