Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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