OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
