We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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