On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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