I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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