I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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