Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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