Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
