Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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