We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize