I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This baby is an asshole
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
