Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The air was thick with penises
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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