the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
