The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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