my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
