You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
