I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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