It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize