Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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