i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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