I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have feelings that need drinking.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
