I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize