I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
