R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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