there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
