So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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