people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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