There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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