Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
