Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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