So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize