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cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
