In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
