I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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