I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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