Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
