Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
