Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize