they need to just BURY HIM!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
