this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
