I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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