He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
