Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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