I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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