talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
