just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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