Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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