we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize