next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
time to smoke my breakfast
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
