drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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