hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I love you. Go after that dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
