I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
