That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize