Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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