Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
