I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
