And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
