so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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