i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
