if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
