didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
